45 posts tagged “motherhood”
We have, you know. And here we are now, all of us, in this space of time looking at each other through words on a screen, or in person when we hug, or passing others through the windows of our cars which are only illusory windows. Because we have always been and still are a part of each other... and we always will.
"We have always been", 9" x 14 1/2", watercolor with ink and pastel.
Here's a small art post for the weekend. I'm working on an idea that involves a character from another original painting I did some months ago. The below is more of a study. I'll be experimenting with palettes and balance and doing more study paintings. Then I'd like to do a larger final painting. It involves the themes of human evolution, spirit and motherhood/childhood.
"The beginning". Approx 16"x10", watercolor, ink and pastel:
Sketches and layers:
I wish you all a wonderful weekend with your family and friends.
Where we find ourselves in each day, within our own minds is such a diverse thing. That is why I like each new day. When I wake, I always hope to experience something new. And that always seems to happen. I've joked about being an "experience junky", but it is actually true. I don't mind the idea of growing old (40 aint so far away anymore) because of this.
"We are" :
An experiment with black pastel paper, untitled:
In other life, today has been full of yardwork, tho it seems less like work to me. Jaz and Lucas and I love, love, love the sunshine and being out of doors. I got ornery and yanked out two ugly, mean, thorny bushes that were threatening to take over. They were not earning their keep and kept getting out of control. I'm excited to replace the entire planter with something that is soft and colorful and returns kindness. The other thing we did was count worms and play with centipedes. Lucas crawled from one end of the yard to the next, attempting to subvert my authority in the area of eating rocks. Silly kid! Soon the hubby will be home and the weekend will have arrived. I am so happy about that. Have a great weekend, you guys.
The truth is...
as if I wouldn't tell the truth (see tag-line), is that this has been an extraordinarily long week. I blame this on a number of things, but mostly my insomnia. I must...
those dots leave off where I just paused to scratch a three-year-old's back. The tricks they use to stay up late are amazing. And, I am weak. Very. Weak.
What was I talking about? Oh, right. Insomnia. I must sleep. But I can't. So, it has been strange and I am not sure what to attribute it too. Perhaps my maternal instincts are in over-drive or my mind can't stop thinking of palette color combinations or age or.... I'm baffled, really. Insomnia is an odd limbo-state in which to reside, as is the following morning when sleep deprivation kicks in. Some people take uppers or No-Doze, but for me, coffee is my drug of choice. And so it is that I am running on about 85%, but that's not so bad. I usually catch up by the fourth night or so.
Despite that meandering, I've managed to work a bit on painting:
I am keeping company now with a cup of familiar roisbois tea and thinking that today was beautiful. I hope yours was too. Now, I think I will try to sleep. Or not. One can hope.
working on this new piece now. it was a wild-card starting out with the watercolor wash, then letting the theme evolve. i didn't expect there to be a theme involving fire, but there it is. and a mother/bird woman with her child slung to her back. something about the subconscious working itself out... hmm. still chewing on that. interesting thing about painting... even when you plan, if you plan at all, a painting has it's own spirit about it. and i mean that in the most literal regard. this continues to be an intriguing leg of the trip (my life).
i often sit with jaz (my three year old) beside me as i paint. he paints too in oil pastel or watercolor. or he snip-snips away at a piece of cardboard for his own mysterious reason. he will look over at what i am painting and begin to weave a story around the figures, the colors. i embrace these tales and accept them as fact. these moments are so sweet that it makes my throat tighten. it is a magic of the highest order.
the depths of our own human spirits are such a mystery... so it puzzles me greater to watch two other humans, fresh on the scene. i ponder, keep quiet, listen to people describe what childhood is, or what their children are. same thing occurs to me every time, "yes, but do you really know? do you even know yourself fully?" the answer is obvious to me, but maybe i'm strange. i could say i really know myself, but time and again i've proven myself wrong because life is always full of new information and changes and epiphany and hardships, and all that makes up this path i can't predict. and how i react each time might call for something different. now, here are my children before me. they are so vibrantly alive in their sensations, how they meet the world. they are doe-eyed, sweet, confused, bumbling, silly, full of young ferocity... what emerges in me is a sense that it is all new all the time for all of us, young or old. someone could counter that notion, i'm sure. but i would have to respond, or maybe just think to myself, are you really listening to your world, the one inside of you and the one outside?
i am officially tired of snow. like, realllllly tired of snow. tho, i am extremely thankful for having weather which will secure our forests from not burning to the ground come summer. it is a good thing, really. but, personally, i am looking forward to some more sunny weather and days where taking a three-year-old and a nine-month-old into the outdoors won't end in 20 minutes or freezing, near-frostbit kiddos. this morning was beautiful with six fresh inches of snow covering everything, but being about the 100th time i've seen this (exaggeration), it felt more like a sentence. if i were to live in seattle or london, i do think i might go a bit mad. hence, i admit to being a total sunshine girl at heart. or, as some say in arizona, a "desert rat". i know i'm complaining and it's a little lame.
if you are a mommy or daddy, here is post for you.
if you are a kid at heart and like making and playing with stuff, read on as well...
i can honestly say that i'm a bit picky when it comes to toys for my three-year-old. the following are criteria for what separates the good toys from the bad ones:
*safe (need i mention certain toys from china. no, i didn't think so.)
*age appropriateness!!! (don't get me started on bratz dolls. eww.)
*fun for more than just a day or a week. long-lasting fun
*inspire a great degree of imaginative play
*artsy/crafty
*science-related
*toys that grow with kids
*i don't mind bells and whistles, as long as their is a smart and fun reason for this
*intelligent, but not purely educational
*involves challenge
*can be mixed with other toys
i recommend the following toys very highly if you have a three year old child:
MAG NEATOS: when i first saw these in our local family-owned Book Nook toy store, i didn't think much of them and kept hunting around for a birthday gift. i turned around and realized jazz was absolutely mezmorized by a sample bucket of these thingamajigs. i quickly added these to his birthday grocery list. these are a great introduction to the idea of magnetism and three-dimensional shapes. also, these have great staying power and will grow with your child. they have a curved set i will be adding on for next christmas.
ZOOB: jazz loves his zoobs! did i mention he loves to build things? i suggest starting out with the 55-count box and no smaller. these are interlocking toy parts which come in at least five different shapes. they connect in several ways and your kid's imagination is the limit. also, these come in kits, like legos, with added parts like wheels. the age recommendation is five or six, but i see no reason why a responsible three-year-old can't handle these.
MELISSA AND DOUG GIANT FLOOR PUZZLES: these are wonderful, colorful and sturdy 48- piece puzzles that really hold interest. sturdy = if your child parades on top of the pieces, they are not destroyed. they are large enough for little fingers to manipulate. we own the noah's ark version and it continues to be a favorite of all the puzzles he owns.
IMAGINEXT ADVENTURE CASTLE BONUS SET: i bought this for jazz last christmas and it continues to be a well-used favorite. he also owns the pirate ship by imaginext and play with it alongside the castle. the castle is extremely sturdy as are the figurines. check online for good deals. i've seen the castle sell for as high as $94 and as low as $34.
MALA ART EASEL FROM IKEA: this retails at $19.99 and is surprisingly durable. i fell in love with this immediately, as well as the price. the simplicity of this product is perfect; the focus is the child's artwork, not some gaudy logo-emblazened hunk of plastic. ikea does sell replacement paper rolls.
LIKE-A-BIKE: yep, we are cheapies, but hey, the target knock-off of the like-a-bike seemed every bit as sturdy and cost $35 as opposed to $275. still, i think we would have splurged if we didn't have that option. this is a bike (ready for this?) without pedals. the child uses their feet to kick off and then he or she balances on the two wheels, with the option of dabbing or kicking off some more. it is a great way to get your child ready for a real two-wheeler, sans the training wheels. the website has a great little video to show you what i mean. it's killer.
an incomplete list and a bit late for christmas. but, hey. now you can look for these on sale. ;-)
if you come up to our door and eavesdrop, you will most likely here:
a.) morrissey playing full blast along with the stomping of big and little feet, dancing in the kitchen
b.) "noooooooo!!! don't put that on the baby's head!!!!!"
c.) squealing baby accompanying a jazz song on the piano
it's been that way around here. life has been in full-swing. i guess there are also quiet moments too. those are wedged in tightly between the ruckus. i've been cleaning out the back room to make way for a, drumroll... art studio space. i'm pretty excited. i've lived vicariously, full of envy, looking at other art spaces online. namely, Atelier XT and Thistletown. at this stage, i'm just cleaning out the cobwebs, moving LOTS of boxes (ouchie on my backie) and cosidering a color palette for painting the walls. i use to find this type of work very overwhelming and stressful, but i'm happy to be at a place in life where i can say, "if it doesn't turn out the way you like it, just redo it, re-paint it, no worries." it's fun. jasper, my constant shadow, accompanies me in all the bustle. i made a little art space in there for him today so he could feel a part of things. i'm getting more consistent about my daily journaling and sketching. it's been helping to keep both items on the kitchen counter for now. because that is where much of life happens, if you think about it. later, when the studio is done, i'll write and doodle in there.
on a completley different note, jazz swallowed five cherry pits today. here's how it happened. i was feeding child B, when child A said in my peripheral ear, "ta-da-da! it's like magic! wow, i can do it, mom. thumbs up!!" i didn't think to turn and actually look at what child A was doing. instead i mumbled something like, "super! great!" and i assumed he was eating his lunch. meanwhile, i scooped organic banana-peach-apple food into child B's mouth. after a quiet minute or two i turned and realized his magical feat: child A had consumed the cherry pits which he usually piles with pride in the corner of his plate. but there was no pile. then it registered. i lectured him on the dangers of eating any kind of fruit pit (i left out the part about a cherry tree growing up and out of his body, but i was tempted.) and he nodded vigorously. i contemplated whether to call the doc or not. i opted with the embarrassing phone call, which started out like this: "i hope this is not a silly question...." fortunately, i have a great ped doc with great nurses and they allayed my fears. they told me he will be fine as long as he can make a bowel movement. so, now my homework is to watch his poop for the next day or two. lovely. mental note: no cherries.
the kids are officially at the play-together stage. i am very happy and easily amused as i watch the two of them share toys and giggle together. aside from some scary moments where jazz gets too rough, it is a truly wonderful time. i'm trying to reiniforce in both of them the importance of relying on each other and loving one another. this is the good stuff, i tell you.
for the fourth time i will attempt to post my revolutions for 2008. it seems i keep writing, then reflect back and find what i've said to be vague or even worse, trite. though that is not at all what i mean to convey. i guess i'm over-thinking my words. so here goes again...
2008:
1. listen to the inner voice that reveals God to me. don't be discouraged by outside forces.
2. along with that, enjoy and focus on the religious liberation discovered at the end of 2007 - there is no church or set of dogmas that can override the true beauty of realizing the creator's love in even the very smallest part of my ever day life.
3. find new ways to convey love to my husband. this is a new chapter of life: married with children. don't forget that we are "we" still.
4. be transparent to my children and open to what we have to teach each other.
5. figure out what i desire to do artistically and follow those paths wherever they may lead: music, painting, drawing, writing, photography, journaling, sculpture. i've gotten away from these areas due to major life changes, becoming a new mom....
6. people are the image of God; find beauty and love in people, not negativity and distrust. always an ongoing work for me.
7. allow this new house to be more of an expression of who we are as a family. it takes a while for me to settle into a new house.
8. get better at snail-mail communication. i renew this resolution every year. alas.
9. continue to investigate the philosophy of existentialism
10. keep off the weight and tighten up!
11. find important ways i can personally be involved in causes which make the world a better place, both locally and globally. make sure these are places where my family can feel just as invested. another reason for this - i want to be sure both children grow up with a big world-view. my husband and i are considering PLAN USA for sponsoring a child. i'm always open to suggestions from you who consider this a part of your family life; i'd love to know what you do. in a couple of years, we hope to be able to travel internationally with the children. i think it's so important to for children to see more than their own back yard if that is an option.
so there they are. already this year, i feel excitement about new things happening. i love new beginnings.